When I started blogging, it was for the purpose of being able to visit and comment on other people's blogs. That's a ton of fun for me. Having permisson to peer into the lives of others satisfies my "inner snoop" and because I am choosy about who I visit, I am almost always edified and encouraged. Writing a blog has never been high on my priority list (as you can well see by the number of my post!). I always feel the self-imposed pressure of saying something "profound" (still don't think I've managed that one). But there are times when the Lord's work in my life is so intense, so personal....so REAL, that I feel the need to share and "strengthen the brethern". Thus, the reason for this post. I am going to allow you to "snoop" into a portion of my prayer journal with the hopes that you have "been there, felt that" and that you leave edified by TRUTH.
9-09-09 (yes...just today)
I don't "feel" like praying Lord. I don't "feel" like believing. I don't "feel" like having faith. I don't "feel" like being a pastor's wife. I don't "feel" like being a Sunday School teacher. I "feel" I am on the edge of a pit and my feet are slipping. And to be honest, a part of me just wants to fall in and be done with it-----BUT, here's the thing......I know the TRUTH......and truth is.....well.....TRUTH. Unchanging, rock solid, infalliable, completely trustworthy.....it's everything You are, Lord. In fact, it IS You. You said You are the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life (John 14:6),and because you are TRUTH, Your Word is TRUTH. Afterall, You are also the Word of God (John 1:2). Your Word says that my heart will deceive me and "feelings" can't be trusted (Jer. 17:9) unless they are based upon the TRUTH. Your Word says that my way is not in myself and it is not in me to direct my steps (Jer. 10:23). So as much as I "feel" like walking right off into that pit......I won't....because I know the TRUTH and I choose TRUTH. "If I say, 'My foot slips', Your mercy, O Lord will hold me up" (Psalm 94:18). "Let Your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen Your precepts" (Psalm 119:173). Thank you, Lord for the safety and security of the TRUTH.....Your precious Word. You are great and greatly to be praised!